Stranger Than Fiction

Today I finally saw Stranger Than Fiction.

I really loved it, in fact, it's been a long time since I enjoyed a movie that much.

That's all I wanted to say.

have a peaceful evening,

-geoff

Tests

I don't think that I've been this down about something unknown in a long time. I suppose I just feel a little lost in some way. Not in the, wow I'm totally alone and will never be happy again way, but the what is it I really think, what do I do next, kind of thing.

I think it's that I'm wanting is people to believe in me, but in reality life isn't that simple. Sometimes we have to do things on our own, and people will doubt us. I feel disowned by the people I tried to surround myself with, but I find it hard to believe that it could be that easy to understand. I think there has to be something in me that I'm not embracing fully and until I do things will stay this way. I love the people in my life, and I love myself, but I'm working towards making that the same emotion....

I trust God, and I trust that wherever I go in the next few years is where I'm meant to go, I just hope I let myself be the most effective and compassionate person I can be.

My trials will never end, no one's ever do.

I just hope I don't stray so far that I never walk back (though I suppose even if I do all I'd have to do was look around and realize I was never really alone anyways)

I'll leave it with these lyrics, because I love the way Johnny Cash sings this song,

Have a peaceful Fourth of July weekend,

Geoff.

Why Me Lord (Johnny Cash version)

Why me Lord,
what have I ever done
To deserve even one
Of the pleasures I've known

Tell me Lord,
what did I ever do
That was worth loving you
Or the kindness you've shown.

Lord help me Jesus,
I've wasted it so
Help me Jesus
I know what I am

Now that I know
that I've need you so
Help me Jesus,
my soul's in your hand

Tell me Lord,
if you think there's a way
I can try to repay
All I've taken from you

Maybe Lord,
I can show someone else
What I've been through myself
On my way back to you.

Lord help me Jesus,
I've wasted it so
Help me Jesus
I know what I am

Now that I know
that I've need you so
Help me Jesus,
my soul's in your hand.

I'm Losing Track

I haven't been thinking about days in terms of what day of the week it is anymore. It's all been what day I work, I don't give the days names, just work day. Weird....

When I was younger (as in like a week ago) I would always like to think about my funeral. Not the crying part or what my family and friends would be like, but what music I'd want to be played....because there would have to be music. One day I might even make a list of what songs I would want played, but I'd really have to think about it. I think I'd only need one song, and that would be Otis Redding's (Sittin' On) The Dock of the Bay. I can't think of a better song, even if it doesn't deal directly with death, it's just my favourite song....so it'd have to be played right? haha This is probably not the most productive way to spend words, I could probably be writing something much more meaningful and lasting....why aren't I?

Because I'm choosing not to....which leads me into my point...yes....I have a point (though I confess I just thought of it a few seconds ago), there are problems in this world. I don't think there are many that wouldn't agree with that (though I'm sure there are some). There are problems in this world and we all wonder what is happening. Why are those in power letting this happen, why is God letting this happen. I use to think about those kinds of things a lot....why isn't God doing more....but I'm reading a book right now, and the answer to my previous question basically slapped me upside the head and now i'm walking around thinking to myself "duh!".....(the book by the way is Shane Claiborne's Irresistable Revolution)....we are vessels for God, we are His hands, He acts through us so in order for anything to change....well I guess we'd have to get off the computer and out into the streets or something radical like that. I sort of see humans as doors which God likes to walk through from time to time, and we choose to be open or closed. So this sort of boils down to, "hey, if you want things to change, why don't you do something about it". That said, positive results shouldnt be attributed to certain people. It's not us, it's a divine force acting through us..........yeah


So now I'm goint to go get ready for work

Hope where these words find you is exactly where you're suppose to be

-geoff

See The Sun

It's funny how sometimes, just as we're getting comfortable with something, we feel the need to push ourselves away from whatever we think is providing the stability. I think I might be doing this, and I guess I'm doing it because nothing is certain in this life (save a few holy sentiments) and to really commit to something I usually require certainty. That's kind of silly though, because I'll never ever do anything worthwhile if I'm always worried something might not happen. Maybe I shouldnt worry about things in life not working out, because failure in this life is going to happen, and success will come too. Good will come from failure and Bad from success. I think that's the inevitable, the way the universe balances itself out.

Haha today is my birthday, but most of the celebratory stuff I did on Friday with my family. I'd say the last two days have been pretty darn good. I workkkkk in a few hours, lame 3-9 shift, but I suppose there's a reason for it right?

This might be my last post for a couple of weeks, I'm off to Eureka to help my grandmother do some of the work around her house she can't really do anymore. I figure it'll be good for me too, no internet, no real phone reception. A kind of faux isolation...but not really, only a little bit. Anywaysss peace to all the nobodies reading this

-geoff

I'm Going To Give This Another Try

It's been a long long time since I've posted anything in this. It's really weird looking back at the two lonely posts of last fall. I feel like it's the kind of thing where my outlook on life has altered enough for me to just not even know what I was talking about back then. "I wish I knew what I know now" kinda stuff, but not really. Haha I suppose I'm going to embrace the ignorance of yesterday and today because it's all pretty important.

This summer I think I'd like to find God, but right now I'm going to go shower, gots me a birthday dinner to go to.

Maybe something like this will keep me occupied this summer, I hope it does

-geoff